Two more months

I can’t help but get giddy at the realization that it is 2019 already.

Two more months till Spring, and thus till we meet our youngest.

Tomorrow we visit Jackie’s foster parents. We bring gifts and cookies baked by Conrad. They have a seven year old in foster care. A gift for her as well. My heart swells with love.

Jackie keeps saying that she will have an older brother. We are not there yet. Not that we can see, but I wonder if she knows/ senses something deep down. She’s always known she has a younger sister, every before the sister was born. I look at jackie and I marvel. She sees clearer, with depth and insight.

Meanwhile. I was holding Conrad’s head on my lap. Massaging it. Caressing it. He was watching a sci-fi movie. I told him with confidence and belief that he is a great daddy, though today he snapped at jackie, he is a good husband, a great man. Because he tries. Because he is willing. Because he loves with honesty and resilience. Every day. And I am committed to bring out the best in him. So help me God. And let myself be loved, pursued, awed. And thus get to the end of our life race. Tired, bruised, but honest in our ever day pursuit of holiness and happiness.