We wanted to name our first daughter Faith. We moved across the world in faith. God was and always is faithful.
As it says in a book I’m Reading “we can’t control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we choose to respond to them.”
After a whirlpool of emotions I realize it’s a dangerous business to base my belief in how I feel. We can get confused, and start reading between the lines and worry of God has hidden agendas. “What if” can kill a man and crush him with concern.
In two weeks we get our adoption certification. And by some odd standards, an easy part follows. Waiting can be crushing or it can be fruitful and bonding and strengthening.
I don’t rely on signs much. I walk in faith quietly (the exception is this blog) and it has served me well thus far.
The team of people working on adoptions is very capable, trustworthy and very supportive of us. We convinced them that we are in for the long ride, we’re not naive and our support system is bigger than meets the eye. Beyond the journey we already embarked on, Worrying “what if” seems futile. If God calls us to something else specific, let Him speak loud and clear.
A little clarification on how adoption works in Romania. Once a person or a couple gets certified / attested to adopt, they apply to be matched with a child or two based on a very specific criteria: age, sex, county.
You are not obligated to move forward with adopting any child. On the contrary: if you have any doubts, fears, concerns about your ability to take on the responsibility of an adoptive parent, it is best to take a step back and reassess. Reconsider. Bailout or seek support. They always lean on the cautious side.
As for us, if we get matched ahead of time with a child, other than j’s sister, we have to Submit a written declaration as to why we don’t want to move forward with the matching. And then the child is paired with another family. There are still tens of families that I know of, waiting to be matched. But my hope is that we don’t even get called to see a dossier at all. Except for when the time comes to come meet “the little sister”.
1. It delays the matching for that kid with their meant parents.
2. Wastes our time and the busy social workers’ time.
3. We don’t want to say no, because it breaks our heart to do so. Nobody is judging us, but if we go and read the dossier of the child, see a picture… I’m sure it will hunt us.
4. We worry that God has different plans for us (adopt another, adopt more) and we don’t see it.
5. We want to get started. We’re ready to bring home a sister or a brother now. But God knows best, what and when.
But the bottom line is that we don’t want to force God’s hand. Never did. Not sure it would make a difference anyway. And I pray for a willing and able heart to accept His answer, even if that is “wait”.