All posts by Violeta

A vivid dream

We went for a visit to J’s former foster parents. And there she was. Colibry. J’s younger sister. A small girl, dressed in light colored garments with frills. I stretched my arms to hold her. My arms ached. She felt so heavy. My arms felt weak. As if they were made of led. But I held on. In my dream I made an conscious effort to not drop her. Then, there she was, snuggled next to my body. I felt such joy in my dream. And all of a sudden she was light. So easy to hold. I was surprised she was there. I couldn’t believe the wait to hold her was over.


Today we had three adoption meetings. We left there feeling like we’ve made progress but at the same time our hearts are heavy and our minds are set to explode.

Sleep routine

Almost every night we struggle with putting her to bed. I dread her tantrums. Or the pouting, or whining, or the million questions and requests after we closed the deal (read all the stories, rub the feet, sing the songs, pray, chat a little longer…)

Things J says at age 4.5

° She wakes up and goes to the living room where she finds daddy playing angry birds on his iPhone. “What are you doing daddy?” – playing a game – “Mommy said no more games on the phone in the morning. How many times do you want her to say this? A thousand times?”