Finding myself

This Fall I meditated and let go. I realized how little I have control over, how alone I am, but not lonely. I filled my cup to the brim, whenever I had the opportunity and I mourned the changes I feared, and then let go. MORE +

Discord everywhere

Even just acknowledging the division, anger and discord in all the social layers surrounding us, slowly, if we are not careful, it is infectious. It either pushes one into depression, or it hardens the heart and makes one to respond the same. MORE +

In asteptarea celei de-a doua fiice

Era o toamna calda ca asta, cand cu emotie, cu anticipare si frica, asteptam sa devenim parinti pentru prima data. Au trecut doi ani de atunci. Ne-am pregatit de impact, ca doi naufragiati pe mare. Am ales sa vorbim deschis despre decizia noastra de a adopta. Asa am simtit in inima noastra ca e mai bine pentru noi. Bucuria anticiparii adoptiei, pregatirea noastra psihica, emotionala, fizica, nu s-au putut intampla intr-un vid. Nicidecum. Desi decizia transparentei noastre are propriile efecte secundare. Nimic nu e batut in cuie in adoptie. Timpul e relativ. Asteptarea apasatoare. Variabile necunoscute. “Ce se mai aude pe frontul adoptiei? Ati mai rezolvat ceva? Mai adoptati sau v-ati razgandit?” Am incercat sa nu le-o iau in nume de rau… dar pe langa framantarea noastra, ceata propriului drum, lipsa raspunsurilor pe care noi insine ni le doream… cum de oamenii astia nu inteleg ca nu ne e usor? De ce mai pun sare pe rana? Dar nu ne-am nascut invatati si din dorinta de a face bine s-a mai gresit cu intrebarile si neintrebarile… iar noi am avut har. Fata de ei, fata de noi. Si e apa pe sub pod, cum spune o vorba in america.

Into details

I made up a bedtime story yesterday. Generally, The stories we tell our kids are meant to be interrupted in order to clarify something, to comment on a behavior, to connect it to us. MORE +

What’s that smell?

Just like she learned her colors, and the sounds, she purposefully learned and recognizes the smells with incredible accuracy. The specific scents of all flowers, the herbs and spices, upcoming rain, type of forest, type of food, firewood smoke, candy. She can smell candy!! MORE +

Belief. Willed belief.

– Do you think of your sister? I had a dream about her.
– I had a dream about her too! – said J.
– You did? How was she? I asked
– She was so beautiful … [then she comes close to whisper as if it was a secret], so beautiful that I wanted to kiss her on the lips! – Then she giggles.